lincolin loud goes to tim hortons
by weaboo stalin
Summary: Lincoln loud goes on a rampage after getting bad service at a Tim Horton's
1. Chapter 1

if your a hardcore loudhouse fan or are under 10 turn back but for the rest of you enjoy me turn a cartoon hero into a homicidal deviant

Chapter 1 the creation of a monster

Lincoln woke up to a finding his Nintendo 3ds and limited edition lighting McQueen stickers stolen by his sister Luna . Lincoln walked into Luna's room and asked in an innocent voice hey Luna did you see my lightning McQueen stickers ? she got up from her chair and yelled I didn't steal your stupid fucking stickers you little queer ! and proceeded to beat the shit out of Lincoln which gave him a bloody nose and black eye . The rest of the morning fared no better with his sisters calling him a pussy and a queer and got another brutal beating from Luna. Lincoln then ran crying to his mom and dad who where watching an episode of mr d . Lincoln cried mom please help me Luna's bullying me again and began crying at her feel. His mom angry that her tv time had been disturbed then began to scream in his face MAN UP YOU LITTLE QUEER AND If YOU CALL CHILD WELFARE ON ME AGAIN IM GOING TO PERSONALLY KICK YOUR ASS . Lincoln than ran out of his house crying and running down the street with tears streaming down his face

to be continued ...


	2. Chapter 2

enjoy the worst my demonic imagination can do the the this beloved nick character in the oncoming chapters now on with the fic

Chapter 2 Lincolin loses it

after running for what seemed like hours he finally found the one thing that could help regain his sanity-a cup of coffee and a doughnut at Tim Horton's .He opened the door and was greeted to hearing some old lady obnoxiously complaining about how the shows on CBC are corrupting our youth and about the good old days which drained Lincolns sanity further. The line was long and he was behind old lady from before was now complaining about god knows what. The wait was finally over and he was ready to order but not before a 20 something girl on her iPhone cut him in line .To hold his grasp onto reality Lincoln thought to himself its not all bad i will get my coffee and delicious doughnut and win an hd tv with roll up the rim to win .He then ordered his doughnut and coffee and sat down he drank his coffee but it tasted like armpit and had a hair floating in it and the doughnut had so much sugar it that it gave him diabetes .And The final sanity sanity shattering moment was when it he rolled up the rim and all it said was fuck you and at that very moment his mind snapped and he now only had two thoughts on his mind revenge and murder.


	3. Chapter 3

expect the following chapter to have a lot of violence and murder so if your squeamish exit this page and now on with the show.

chapter 3 a Canadian horror story

Lincoln jumped up from his seat and ran behind the counter and grabbed a pair of those tongs they use to serve the donuts with and brutally disemboweled the poor cashier with them and Lincoln then proceeded to grab a chocolate doughnut dipped it in the now disemboweled cashiers stomach and ate it .The scene was so gruesome that the old lady from before died of a heart attack after witnessing it .The one remaining witness the 20 something year old that cut him in line threatened to call the police and ran over to the phone to call them (she was not using her iPhone because the battery died) but not before Lincoln disemboweled her with the tongs and proceeded to eat her like the little monster he was .He then ran back to his house but not before he could be greeted by his sister Luna who said what the fuck are doing back so late and why the hell are you covered in blood lincolin took the gun he found in the bag of the old lady and shot her .He then killed all of his sisters and his parents by putting Ebola in there drinks . The loud house was finally quiet . He was watching Shrek the halls when he heard a knock at the door it was the police

...to be continued


	4. Chapter 4

Im back bitches and i have got a couple more chapters for you sadists . i haven't updated for a while :) now to continue with the tale of boy blunder

chapter 4 Canada's most wanted

Lincoln opened the door standing there was young officer in his early 20s .The officer politely asked him if everything was alright and if he could see his parents Lincoln asked why and he said that a neighbour reported that there where gunshots reported to have come from the loud house . But right when the officer walked into the loud house Lincoln then jumped on the officer and started to claw and bite at the officers face. (like the denizens from call of duty zombies) The panicked and severely mangled officer threw Lincoln into a wall and ran from the house yelling at the top of is lungs .The panicked officer got into his car and drove away at like 100 kilometres per Lincoln yelled because he knew that the officer would come with reinforcements .He knew that he would have to get out of there fast so he packed his spongebob backpack with dunkaroos and other junk food he also brought his creeper plush , lightning McQueen stickers and his loaded his shit into his sisters red Hyundai pony .He was ready for his long journey to the Tim hortons headquarters

to be continued


	5. Chapter 5

consider this extra chapter to be an Easter gift now onto the story

chapter 5 on the road

Shit Lincoln thought as he got in to the battered hatchback from the Mulroney era .He had no idea how to drive Then he thought about all of the times he had played Mario kart Wii with his friend .He shifted into drive he was ready to begin his journey .since this was his first time driving he floored the car and accidentally ran over his 80 year old neighbor and also crashed into a couple of parked cars .while driving Lincoln saw a man selling Tim Hortons donuts he ran over the guy and the crowed who where buying the donuts .He then ran over a couple of cyclists and a man crossing the street. After hours of crashing into shit and running over pedestrians Lincoln released that he was running out of gas so he drove to an gas station and began to fill up his gas tank when he saw a man calling the police so quickly he got in the car he then threw a match into the gas trail which ignited then exploded like they do in those 1980s action films . After driving and running people over for the day Lincoln parked the car in a nearby lot fell asleep .At about 8:00 he was awoken by a man knocking on his window telling him that that he should not be parked there annoyed angry and tired Lincoln rolled down the window and injected him with type 7 diabetes which made him explode into a bloody pulp ( like that scene from big trouble little china) .Lincoln then ate a packet of dunkaroos and drove off .Lincoln checked his spongebob backpack and realized that he was almost out of junkfood so when he came to a small pharmacy being the psychotic idiot that he is crashed the car through the front (like the police station scene from terminator) crushing shelves and shoppers under his Mulroney era compact he then got out grabbed as much junk food as he could find and drove off leaving behind the chaotic scene that ha had just before caused .After gobbling down multiple caramilk bars blowing up another gas station and running down more unsuspecting pedestrians Lincoln looked at his GPS and realized that he only had less than 1000 kilometres to go till he arrived at oakville Lincoln then began to do the victory screech from spongebob .After driving for another 100 kilometres he came to a police roadblock a police officer said though a megaphone in a kindly voice give up Lincoln you can make this right ,your a good kid i know you make this right .Lincoln began to being the insane retard that he is drove full speed through police barricade running over multiple police officers while doing the sponge bob victory screech noise . He decided it was getting late and parked his car in the woods and slept peacefully that night .After waking up and driving for another 500 kilometers he realized needed to shit so he walked into a small bar used the bathroom and was walking out but not before noticing that the bars tv was playing a cbc news report about all the many innocent people that he had killed on his 4 day murderous road trip .Lincoln quickly ran out of the bar to his decrepit Hyundai that he now called home .He drove for another grueling 400 kilometers then Lincoln saw the sign which read oakville welcomes you , he had finally reached oakville after 5 grueling days. But Lincolns plan is only just begining

to be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6-just another ordinary everyday epic final battle

Here we are the final chapter sorry for the delay i hope you all enjoy this epic chapter

LIncolin got out of the rusty hatchback he called home for the past week but he had felt like he had been there for months ;) and began to scream at the top of his lungs awwwwww yeeeeeaaaaaaa woooooooo ive made it. He then got back into the Hyundai and after crashing through a couple more police barricades gta style he had arrived at the Tim Horton s headquarters. With that he got out of car and began to loudly monologue - i will destroy Tim Horton's then all of Canada while he giggled retardedly like a Japanese school girl .Then at that exact moment prime minister Trudeau came out of the air (like the dinkster) and blocked his path .This made Lincoln angry and he tried to savagely attack Trudeau but he quickly dodged lincolins attack .Trudeau then said to lincolin how many more innocent people have to get hurt over a bad coffee and a bad donut , you have the power to end this Trudeau said to lincolin with a caring face on trying to appeal to whatever humanity Lincoln had left .I WANT YOU TO DDDDIIIIIEEEE the rabid boy yelled as he tried to stab Trudeau with a needle full of super aids but Trudeau quickly dodged it and Lincoln then tripped and landed on the aids needle and got infected but instead of dying the super aids combined with his evil DNA and turned him giant .Oh shit im going to need to power up Trudeau said he then sang the national anthem O Canada! Our home and native land!True patriot love in all thy sons command. With glowing hearts we see thee rise,The True North strong and free! From far and wide, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. God keep our land glorious and free!O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.O Canada, we stand on guard for thee and that made him grow to be 50 metres tall . I didn't want to have to do this Lincoln and with that Lincoln punched Trudeau in the face. But then Trudeau then got up and did a flying kick into Lincolns face the blow was so powerful it transported them a to 1950s american small town (think pleasantville or pre war fallout ) Lincoln fell over and landed on a couple of brightly coloured houses crushing them instantly . He then got up and picked up a woman in a teal dress while she yelled you better put me down this instant gosh darn it with that he hurled her at Trudeau at about 300 kilometres an hour which Trudeau swiftly dodged splattering her into a nearby brick building like a water balloon full of ketchup . Trudeau visibly distraught yelled you monster you must be stopped Trudeau then picked up a telephone pole and smashed it against the back of Lincoln's head he toppled over and fell into a bus crushing all the passengers inside . The rabid angry Lincolin ran over to the local high school and lucky for him they where having a football game (that's popular in 1950s america right?) picking up multiple players and cheerleaders and hurling them at Trudeau and being the idiot Lincoln was miscalculated his aim accidentally hurled one of the football players at a blimp which made the blimp crash and the blimp explosion took out half the town .Lincoln shrugged and doing his best Steve urkel voice said did i do that? This merciless killing of innocent people made Trudeau furious and in a fury he picked up a parked car and hurled it at Lincoln hitting him square in the face the impact was so hard it broke Lincolns nose and knocked out all of his teeth . Lincolin than picked up one of the surviving football players and a cheerleader and again tried to hurl them at Trudeau which he dodged yet again. The football player flew into a phone booth obliterating both instantly and the cheerleader hit house splattering like watermelon that been thrown off a roof .Tired of the carnage Trudeau used all of his energy to summon Shrek who teleport ed next to do you need lad Shrek asked Trudeau ?Lincoln loud is trying to whip out Canada with super aids and we have stop him trudeau said .And with that shrek punched Lincoln in the face knocking him out. Shrek then said don't wreck yourself before you Shrek yourself and decapitated Lincoln with an onion .Then instantly both Trudeau and Shrek were back transported back to present day canada where Trudeau then gave a victory speech to the Canadian people in which he said today the greatest theat to Canadian society- Lincoln loud is no more Trudeau said triumphantly as the Canadian people celebrated with beer and party's

The end

fun facts

the story was heavily inspired by the fanfiction neutrons sexual experimentations

the Tim Horton's was originally supposed to be a burger king

About 50% of the story was improvised

it was originally going to be a fanboy and chum chum story having chum chum filled Lincolns role and boog would have filled lunas role and insted of the Tim Horton's it would have been at the frosty mart

the original plot would have involved Lincoln holding everyone hostage at a tim hortons while fighting off cops and it would have been only 1-2 chapters long

muscleman from regular show was originally going to have fought along Trudeau in the final chapter

originally Tim Horton himself in a Jesus costume would have fought lincolin and at the end of the battle he would have cut Lincolns head off with his hockey stick

chapter 5 on the road was inspired by me binge playing gta for 4 hours straight previous to writing the chapter

future possibility's for story's

leave it to beaver -beaver gets captured by the soviets

after a fishing trip mishap beaver and his family get captured by the soviets where they have sadistic experiments preformed on them

caillou the methhead -

after Leo introduces caillou to meth he becomes an insane homeless methhead who would do anything to to get his fix

Shrek vs fanfic speds -

Shrek finds out that the people who report fanfictions are actually part of a Nazi plot to destroy free speech and goes on a quest to stop them


End file.
